repentance

my 47 days is almost over... it started from ash wednesday to easter sunday.. and im looking forward to it.. no pork, beef nor chicken.. im not a vegetarian.. seafood would do.. but will you grab one in a country with no ocean?!?.. yup, i did.. have no choice.. munched it scrumptiously while dismissing the idea of its staleness.. ewwww!..

being a pasta lover, it's a blessing to be in europe.. is it really?!?.. hmm.. err.. not at this time.. i always have to fight back the temptations.. its a hard-fought battle.. thinking fillet-o-fish as chicken sandwich, shrimp-flavored cup noodles as scampi pasta, pizza without the toppings, fried rice without the chicken bits.. grr!...

add to that, a series of explanations.. was asked why i do this thing.. its purpose, its reason.. as much as i want to explain it clearly, i wasn't able to.. and this lead to more questioning.. and a feeling of being misunderstood.. *sigh*

this lenten season is tougher than the previous year.. back home you get more choices (and more serving of understanding and respect), not home gives you more adjustments..

the thing is, i don't feel sorry for myself.. not even a trace of regret.. in spite of this sacrifice, there's a sense of lightness in me.. guilt trips have been uplifted.. tranquility starts to encompass my being..

call it crazy, but that's how i repent my sins...


(fasting and abstinence is a catholic practice every lenten season.. i only do abstinence... fasting happens to me almost everyday)